And with every person I tell, I get more nervous. I feel like I am "jinxing" myself.
I have stopped running, and I feel somewhat depressed. I thought I would be ecstatic when I finally got a positive, but I feel more anxious and depressed than I did during an IVF cycle. Then, of course, I wonder if my worry and depression is going to cause something to go wrong...
Oh, Lord. Can I make it through the next 7 months?
BW, I'm sorry to say that what you're feeling is perfectly natural. It's what IF does to us. It is disappointing that we've been robbed of the "normal" pg experience, but feelings like yours seem to be quite common amongst "the lucky ones."
ReplyDeleteThe constant worry does fade, but at almost 20 weeks (and with normal amnio results), I am still fearful that they'll tell me the heartbeats have stopped each time I go in for an ultrasound.
You will make it through...but it probably won't be the fantasy pgcy experience we all dreamed of...it's weird, huh? I thought a + POAS or beta, or healthy ultrasound, or good amnio would make everything ok and I would feel like a normal person...but, once an IF girl, always an IF girl. ...or so it seems.
(((Hugs)))
I know this time, waiting for the ultrasound, is worse than waiting for the 1st beta. On a positive note, if your not having any bleeding and you are having nausea, those are very good signs. Try to take care of yourself. Only 4 more days to go!
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