Running

I have been running outside more lately. This is much different than running inside on my Wii. I ran a 5K on Sunday, and I was so proud of myself! I haven't run a race since high school, and I haven't run regularly since college. It feels so good to be obsessed over something other than my infertility.

Funny story: Friday, there were reports of a thunderstorm. As soon as I got home from work, I jumped in the car and drove to the bike trail (my favorite running spot as of late). I started running and the wind was blowing pretty hard. But I was determined to finish my run. So, I got to the spot that marks 1.5 miles from the start (my turn-around point), and it starts thundering. As I turn around, I hear trees crackling. "Uh-oh," I think, "My car is 1.5 miles away!!" So, I run faster than I have ever run (waaaay faster than I ran at the 5K.) The wind picks up, nearly carries me away, and I think, "Only I would get in this situation." The skies open up and it POURS. Trees are falling across the trail, branches are blowing and smacking me in the face... and I keep running. Then, I get back to my car and it slows down (of course.) So I get home, and our power is out! It was out the rest of the night! Now I am thankful I didn't get struck by lightning.

But, at the end of it all, I felt like a true runner. I like this little club. It is much more rewarding than being in the "infertile" club.

Anxiety

My anxiety has been going a bit haywire lately. Greg's dad is very ill, not eating, on oxygen...

This is really affecting me pretty badly. It is bringing up many thoughts and memories of my dad's death, as well as other things from the past that I would rather forget.

We met with the hospice nurse on Wednesday. She gives him a month, tops. Greg and I sat with him yesterday, and he slept the whole time. Ryan, the aide, said he had been sleeping all day.

In other news...

My weight loss is progressing. I have lost 8 pounds more this month, for a total of 33 pounds since February and a total of 60 pounds since my heaviest. I am happy about that, but I am wondering if this weight loss has brought up some anxieties. It is common for someone losing weight to encounter memories of difficult times. It is like they were literally being buried by fat. It is an interesting concept. I started back with my therapist. I hope that helps.

Along the baby front, I am hopeful that my weight loss may make a difference. (You have to find hope somewhere.) We are even trying timed intercourse (Ha! That's a laugh! Haven't tried that for 4 years.) It works for other people, maybe it will work for me... I have an appointment May 4 to talk to another RE. I am hoping she has a different perspective.